The Night of the Two-Legged Weasel
by The Wild Wild Whovian
Summary: If you listen closely to the Prince's speech at the end of the episode The Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo, it sounds like the writer was setting things up for a sequel - except the show never provided a sequel, so I decided to. Presenting the further adventures of Jim and Artie vs. Crown Prince Creepy of the Coral Island…
1. Teaser

**Teaser ~~~**

"This is a bad idea!" groused Artemus Gordon.

"You said that already," his partner James West pointed out. "Daily, ever since we started on this trip."

"Yeah, and I'll continue to say it: it's a bad idea! Bad, bad, bad!"

"Don't hold back, Artie. Tell me how you really feel."

Artie shot Jim a look, then held up a hand. "Item:" he said, touching the little finger first. "The State Department received a letter reporting that the American inhabitants of the Coral Island, who are generally missionaries with their wives and children, have all been kidnapped and will be killed. Now the letter," and here he touched his ring finger, "was written more than two months before it was received, having been in transit all that time, crossing the Pacific to California, and from there to Washington. This letter," and he moved on to the third finger, "specifies that you and I, and you and I only! are to serve as negotiators to, we hope, bring about the freedom of the captive Americans. And so here we are," and this brought him to the index finger, "en route to the Coral Island, crossing the Pacific, having added with our journey yet another two months to the time since the Americans were originally taken hostage! Four months, Jim! Anything could have happened to those poor people in that time. And there's no way for us to know what's going on. There's no way to get fresh news aboard this bucket out here in the middle of the ocean. We are going to walk off this ship and into a situation about which we will not have a clue. I don't like that, Jim. You know I don't like it!"

"I know, Artie, I know. Anything could have happened, from the release of them all unharmed, to the slaughter of them all without pity. And we won't know until we get there. So we'll have to be ready for anything."

"Well, well, yeah!" said Artie, somewhat mollified by Jim's calm demeanor. He leaned on the railing for a bit, staring out at the endless view of ocean surrounding them, before adding, "And you know what really gets me, Jim?"

Oh, Jim knew all right. This too Artie had been haranguing about ever since they had embarked on this assignment. Jim said nothing, but his lips moved silently as Artie said the words, the same first five words as always.

"It's that little weasel, Jim. His Highness Prince Creepy. I'm sure he's behind all this. You know how he played us for saps before, trying to infuriate his papa the king - and make us look like dolts in the bargain - when the king sent Princy-boy to Washington to sign that treaty. Well, the treaty was signed all right, but I bet you dollars to donuts, little Mr Prince is back of this too, pulling all the strings, trying to manipulate his papa all over again. And he said - straight out said! - that some day he'd get you onto that island of his and take you on a hunt. And you know what the little savage meant by that too!"

Jim nodded. Yes, he knew. The previous hunt the Crown Prince of the Coral Island had taken Jim on had involved Jim himself being the prey, a "two-legged buffalo" as the Prince had termed him. He wasn't looking forward to the twists this case might take any more than Artie was. He just wasn't as vocal in his apprehensions as his partner.

One of the ship's officers walked up just then and cleared his throat. "Gentlemen," he said, gesturing them toward the bow of the ship, "I believe you will be pleased to know that we have sighted land." He led the way forward, and shortly the three were gazing out on what looked like little more than a cloud on the horizon. "The Coral Island, gentlemen. We should make port before evening."

Another man, dressed in the uniform of a Marine, was already at the railing. "Afternoon, gentlemen," he said. Nodding at the misty distance, he added, "So we're nearly there?"

"It looks like it, Major Riordan," said Jim.

"And high time, too," put in Artie, adding hastily, "Ah - no offense meant, Lieutenant Keighley. I know the ship has been taking us there as quickly as possible."

"None taken," said the lieutenant. "We all want to know what's been happening and the fate of the Americans there." And with a farewell of "Gentlemen," the young ship's officer strode away.

"Not much longer now," Jim said to Artie, "We'll soon know what's really going on there."

Artie nodded glumly. "Yeah. For better or worse."

"Yes, and if it is worse," said the major, "my men and I will be ready to assist. After all, that's why the President provided you with a company of Marines."

"Thank you, Major. I just hope it won't have to come to that."

"Yeah," Artie agreed. "The last thing we want to do is start a war with an ally…"


	2. Act 1

**Act One ~~~**

Their ship, the _SS Virginia_, a US naval man o' war, was now docked at the main port of the island, the capital city of 'Ahui Mai'a. Jim and Artie stood together at the top of the gangplank, taking in the view. And what a view it was!

Green was everywhere. Lush, tall, beautiful tropical plants were scattered among the buildings of the town as well as forming a verdant backdrop stretching all the way to the mountain of Pu'u Ahi that dominated the island. Bright fruits and colorful flowers punctuated the foliage. The town itself was a collection of small buildings, some Western, some traditional, in a loose semi-circle facing the harbor. Beyond that, on a low hill overlooking the town, was a large building in traditional style. Jim pointed it out, saying, "The royal palace, you think?"

Artie nodded absently, his eyes busily taking in the sights of 'Ahui Mai'a. He was obviously feeling much happier to have arrived at last and to be about to set foot on solid ground after such a long time at sea. Nudging Jim, Artie murmured, "Look at the natives, buddy! Everyone's dressed in sarongs and generally nothing else, men and women alike!" With a grin, he added, "No wonder they call this place a tropical paradise, hmm?"

"C'mon, Artie. Time to go present ourselves to His Highness." And the two, dressed in their finest clothes as befitting a royal audience, walked down the gangplank and stepped ashore.

Every eye turned to have a look at them, it being somewhat hard to be inconspicuous while wearing suits among sarongs. Artie, twirling his swagger stick as they strolled along, smiled amiably at everyone they passed, especially at the lovely ladies. Out of the corner of his mouth he remarked to Jim sotto voce, "Not a Westerner in the bunch."

Jim nodded. "Unless whoever is in that sedan chair is a Westerner."

The chair, with its curtains drawn and four beefy islanders in attendance, was settled on the ground in the roadway the two agents were heading toward, the road that looked like it would lead up to the palace. They were drawing close to the entrance of that road when a big islander came out of nowhere and walked toward them. As he passed by, he shoved a shoulder into Jim, knocking the agent into the dust.

"Watch where you're going!" said the islander.

"I was," Jim responded, picking himself up and brushing the dirt off.

"You talkin' back to me?" the islander growled. Six more guys as big as he was and bigger appeared now, surrounding the two Americans.

"Welcome to the Coral Island," Artie muttered to his partner.

"This is our homeland," proclaimed one of the islanders, "and we don't like _haoles_."

"_Haoles?_" Jim murmured to Artie.

"Foreigners," Artie replied. "In other words, us."

"Ah."

The one who had started it all now stepped in and threw a haymaker at Jim's head. West ducked under it and drove an elbow into the big guy's midsection. And as he doubled over from that blow, his head made the acquaintance of Jim's ascending knee.

Meanwhile, one of the others advanced on Artie. With a cry of, "Wait a minute!" the American agent reached into an inside pocket of his jacket and produced an envelope. "We're on a diplomatic mission," Artie explained. "This is a letter from your king insisting we come. We're supposed to…"

His opponent snatched the envelope from Artie's hand and flung it to the ground.

"That's no way to treat a letter from your king!" cried Artie. The big guy trampled the letter underfoot as he lunged at Artie, who conked him with the swagger stick, knocking him back a bit. Another of the islanders came to the first one's aid, looming over Mr Gordon with a look in his eye that reminded Artie uncomfortably of the time Prince Creepy had joked about cooking him.

While those two menaced Artie, the rest were surrounding Jim. Two grabbed him and held him fast for a third to pummel him, but before the beating could begin, Jim used the two clutching him as supports to boot the third man in the face. As that man dealt with his bloodied nose, Jim kicked up and over in a somersault, breaking the grip of the other two men. The fourth man now piled into the fray, with Jim West in the middle of the three still standing, all four punching and hitting - and each of the three islanders, at one point or another, wound up missing the _haole _and striking one of his own men instead.

Meanwhile, Artie was holding his own against his two assailants, mainly by repeatedly bashing them with his swagger stick. One of them finally managed to snag him by the collar. "Don't ruin the suit! I'm off to see royalty, you know!" Artie cried. And suddenly he was no longer in the cutaway jacket. As the islander stood there with the empty jacket dangling from his hand, looking baffled, Artie coshed him yet again with the swagger stick, this time laying him out cold in the dirt.

The other man shoved Artie, sending him to the ground as well. Artie tried to whack at him with the swagger stick to defend himself, but this time the big islander caught the stick before the blow could land, immobilizing it.

He grinned down as Artie stared up. "What you gonna do now, _haole?_" said the islander.

"This," said Artie. He gave his end of the stick a hard twist, and the knob at the opposite end irised open, emitting a plume of magenta gas right into the islander's face. Coughing, the man sagged like a bag of coconuts, then dropped to the ground unconscious.

Good. Artie rolled over, snagged his jacket from the other fellow, then got to his feet and hollered, "Jim!"

West, still in the middle of his three remaining foes, glanced over at his partner. Artie had his swagger stick tucked under his arm, his jacket in one hand, and in the other hand a shiny glass orb. He waggled three fingers at Jim.

With a nod, Jim caught his breath and held it. The islanders surrounding him never knew what was coming. For at the count of three, Artie tossed the orb. It shattered as it hit the ground, releasing a magnificent cloud of saffron gas that curled around the combatants. Only Jim knew not to breathe the gas, and shortly only Jim was left standing.

He walked over to his partner who was shrugging into his jacket. As Jim dusted himself off, Artie took up the king's letter, knocked the dirt from it as well, then tucked in back into his pocket. "Well, off to see the king now, eh, James?"

"Our friend in the sedan chair seems to be going the same way," Jim observed.

Sure enough, a hand had emerged from within the curtains, waving the chair onward. The porters took it up and carried it along the road that led to the palace; shortly they all disappeared around the first bend.

Their departure, however, had revealed that there was a man standing just beyond the chair. Unique among all the people of 'Ahui Mai'a that Jim and Artie had yet seen, this man was dressed in Western attire, wearing a fine suit jacket with vest, ascot, and button-down shirt. At least, he was Western down to his waist, for instead of pants, this dapper island gentleman wore the ubiquitous sarong. His hair too was in native style, pulled up into a topknot on the crown of his head. He smiled and inclined his head toward the two Americans, then skirted the remnants of the fight to draw near them.

"Gentlemen! _Aloha 'auinala! _Good afternoon, and welcome to 'Ahui Mai'a!"

With a glance at his partner, Jim responded, "Good afternoon," and shook the newcomer's hand.

The man turned and shook hands with Artie as well, who quipped, "Well, I much prefer your greeting to that of the other welcoming committee," indicating the unconscious islanders.

"Ah, them. Youthful high spirits, I'm sure. Now, Mr West, Mr Gordon, allow me to introduce myself. I am Konani, and I will be your guide here on the Coral Island."

"You're here from the king?"

"Indeed I am, gentlemen, indeed I am. If you will just step this way?" He spread a hand toward the road to the palace, and the three set off walking together.

"What can you tell us about the Americans?" Jim asked their guide as they climbed the meandering road.

"Yes, are they all right?" Artie chimed in.

"You shall know soon," said the king's man in the tone of voice that generally announces that a conversation is at its end.

Artie darted a look at Jim. "Know soon? What's wrong with us knowing now? Has something happened? Something bad?"

"Yes, what aren't you telling us?" said Jim.

Konani spread his hands, an amiable look on his face. "Now, now, gentlemen! There is no need to worry. All will be made clear to you shortly. Only follow me. I will bring you before the king, and he will explain all."

Jim stopped dead in the road, forcing the other two to come to a halt as well. "No, why don't _you _explain all?" he challenged. "Surely the events surrounding the taking of every American on this island hostage is common knowledge."

"At least, common knowledge to everyone but us," added Artie.

Their guide shook his head. "The king will explain…"

Jim gave a tight smile. "No, I want you to explain. Right here. Right now."

Again Konani shook his head. "Gentlemen, I cannot."

"Why? Don't you know what's happened?" said Artie. He waved a hand at the American naval ship in the harbor. "We've been at sea for the past couple of months, worrying ourselves sick over the fates of our fellow countrymen. Why should we have to wait any longer to hear what's going on? Have they been released? Are they dead? Please tell us something!"

Konani's eyes tried several times to meet theirs, but kept slipping away. "I am sorry, gentlemen," he said at last. "The quickest way for you to learn the answers to all your questions is to follow me. The king will explain all." He turned and started up the winding road to the palace once more.

Jim and Artie exchanged glances, then strode on after their guide. "Well, at least tell us this much," said Artie, gamely trying a different tack. "Who took the Americans captive? The king's letter doesn't say."

"I am well aware, Mr Gordon, of what the letter your State Department received says and does not say. It was I who wrote it."

"You?" Artie grabbed Konani's arm and swung the islander to face him. "You wrote the letter? But it stated very plainly that it was from the king!" His face darkening, Artie went on with, "And who are you, anyway? You say you're from the king, but how would we know? You could be anybody. You could be part of the gang who kidnapped the Americans, and following you would lead us straight into a trap!"

Now Konani met his eyes solidly, glitteringly. "Yes, Mr Gordon," he said indignantly. "All you have said is true. I _could _be anybody, and you only have my word as to who I am. But I assure you that when I wrote the letter, I wrote it down precisely as His Highness dictated it to me, and it said exactly what the king wanted to say."

"Oh," said Artie in a small voice, releasing their guide's arm and taking a step back. "Then… then you're the king's secretary."

Konani took hold of his suit jacket and straightened his clothing with an irate yank. "I am whatever the king decrees I am, and I do whatever he decrees I do, from one day to the next." He then drew a deep breath and added, "But my apologies, Mr West, Mr Gordon. His Highness wishes to tell you all things from his own mouth, and ordered me to tell you nothing. Any disobedience to the king's wishes on my part might well bring an end not only to my position in his court, but to my, ah, life as well." He gave a twitch of a smile and said, "You Americans, you do not know what it is to live under royalty. You always chafe at it until you realize that what the king wants is what will be, and that there is very little that can be done otherwise." He turned away and set off up the road yet again.

As Jim started after him, Artie tapped his arm and whispered to him out of the side of his mouth, "Did you hear that?"

Jim nodded. "Sounded like he murmured one more thing just now."

"Yeah. That's what I thought," Artie agreed. "And what I thought I heard him say was, 'And yet very little is not nothing.' Wonder what he meant by that?"

"Maybe we'll find out," said Jim as they followed Konani up the road.

…

A few more minutes walking brought them before the palace. It was an impressive structure built entirely of native materials, long, wide, and vast. Konani led the way to the gate in the center of the façade where a pair of big islanders stood guard, each man with a spear in hand, the spears crossed in the doorway to block the entrance. The guards snapped to attention as the king's man approached, withdrawing the spears to let him and the two American guests pass into the courtyard beyond.

Artie glanced back and saw the guards return the spears to their original positions. He also saw that on either side of the doorway here in the interior were racks full of rifles. He gave Jim a nudge to call his attention to that little detail.

Jim nodded and, with his eyes, drew Artie's attention in return to some small rooms set around the perimeter of the courtyard. Each room was occupied by two islanders along with a distinctly non-native piece of equipment.

Artie whistled softly. "Gatling guns."

"Yep. Looks like Papa the king has some very modern ideas about security in his palace," Jim observed sotto voce.

"To go along with the old-fashioned means of transportation," replied Artie quietly, nodding toward the sedan chair resting near the inner door of the courtyard. The curtains were drawn back, showing that the portable seat was now empty. "Wonder who was using that?"

"Gentlemen," their guide Konani said, "please wait here while I announce you." He bowed slightly, spoke briefly to the guard at the inner door, then stepped through the doorway.

Artie smiled winsomely at this latest guard. "_Aloha 'auinala_," he said, remembering the phrase Konani had greeted them with.

The guard scowled in return.

"Beautiful weather we're having," Artie continued.

Still scowling, the guard responded in heavily accented English, "The Coral Island always has beautiful weather. Sunshine, rain, all is beautiful. The Coral Island is the garden of the gods in the heart of the sea!"

"We can see that," Artie agreed. "And the Americans - the missionaries and their families - they can see the beautiful weather in this garden of the gods as well?"

The scowl only deepened. "The king will speak to you of the other _haoles_. The king say no one to talk of the _haoles _to you. He will talk, no one else." Gesturing at the sedan chair, the guard said, "He tell us all again just now when he return to the palace."

Jim's and Artie's eyes met for a second. Then the man in the sedan chair was the king himself! Had the king wanted to get a first look at the Americans before their audience with him? But what about the fight? Could not the king have ordered the seven islanders to leave his guests alone?

Konani reappeared, bowing low. "His Highness will see you now." He led the way down a long corridor, then opened a new door and ushered Mr West and Mr Gordon into the throne room.

Soft native music was playing in the background, provided apparently by a set of musicians concealed behind a screen woven from palm fronds. The two Americans glanced about the room as Konani led them forward. Opulent décor, both island and Western, surrounded them. West and Gordon remembered very well the pseudo-Polynesian furnishings in the Prince's suite at the fancy spa he had insisted on visiting during his trip to Washington. How different was that room from this one! The suite had been home to a singularly ugly tiki with a pointy - not to mention, dangerous - tongue. The statuary here, while still tikis, consisted of far more elegant carvings made from native wood and stone, all of them polished to a faultless shine.

The suite had held exotic-looking flowers and fruits, but the flora here filled the air and the eye with exquisite scents and magnificent colors. And the fruit! The fruit here was mouth-watering to behold, with tantalizing aromas complementing those of the flowers in a heady, all but intoxicating olfactory paradise.

Also in the suite of old had been palm frond fans propped against the walls, lying idle. Here the fans, much larger and much more able to move the air, were in the hands of men and women who were putting them to their proper use. And flanking the dais to which West and Gordon were being led stood a pair of strong men holding the largest fans of all crossed in front of the throne, screening most of it from view.

Ah yes, the men and the women. These were dressed, much like Konani, in an eclectic mixture of Western and Island. The men in fact were attired almost identically to Konani, even to the floral pattern of the sarongs and the topknots on their heads. It was the clothing the women wore that disappointed Artie though: brightly colored sacks their dresses amounted to, all-concealing fabric from chin to floor, without so much as nip in at the waist to set off a woman's, ah, better features. Their faces and smiles were bright nonetheless, and one trio of young ladies in particular were whispering among themselves, the three of them hiding their giggles behind their hands like schoolgirls, batting their eyes and blushing at the three men advancing through the room.

Artie smiled in return, hoping the slender girl in the middle was flirting at him. As he looked at her two heavy-set neighbors, he remembered Prince Creepy's assertion that here on the Coral Island, fat women were the more highly prized, simply because there was so much more to love. He glanced about the room once more and concluded that here indeed there was plenty to love - yes, a gracious plenty!

To one side of the throne stood a man holding a huge headdress covered in feathers, part of it arching forward rather like an oversized rigid sock, while at the opposite side stood a second man, this one bearing a brightly feathered cloak. Both items were all too familiar to Artie. He had had to wear such things while pretending to be the prince, who had gone missing for a while during that trip to Washington, and Artie well remembered how awkward the headdress was, and how chilly the cloak was.

Konani now reached the foot of the throne, bowed, and said, "Your Highness, Mr West and Mr Gordon have arrived, according to your royal decree." He arose from his bow and stepped aside.

West and Gordon made ready to bow as well. The musicians played a fanfare as the men flanking the dais slowly raised the huge fans, inch by inch, to reveal the royal throne.

On which sat no one.

West and Gordon blinked and looked around the room. All the others showed not the least bit of concern that their king seemed to be missing. They only looked back at the Americans, quietly waiting.

And then laughter rang out, very familiar laughter. From behind the screen where the musicians still played on stepped out a suave little man, his hair slicked straight back from his forehead. He was splendidly attired in silks and velvets of Western styling, a ring on every finger and a triple-stranded pearl necklace adorned with several large shimmering gemstones about his neck. He laughed joyfully, blissfully, diabolically as the two Americans stared.

"Wellwellwell, my dear James and Artemus! How good to see you again! I'm so glad to have you at last come to visit me here at my home!" the laughing man exclaimed. "I do hope you enjoyed my little, ah, diversion I arranged for the king's amusement. That little altercation, you know. The seven men Artemus knocked out with his gas are some of the king's finest bodyguards and were promised rich rewards if they could beat the two of you in a fair fight. Now I have to decide whether to reward them richly as promised, or to have them executed for their failure. Ah, decisionsdecisionsdecisions! For the fight, dear gentlemen, was hardly a fair one because of the knock-out gas. But no matter; I'll determine that later. Right now, my dear old friends, I wish to welcome you to my humble abode on the Coral Island."

It was none other than Prince Creepy himself, smiling at them with that curious turn of expression of his that was at once urbane and savage. He glanced for a moment at the empty throne, then added, "But as I said, gentlemen, I arranged that little fight scene for His Highness' amusement. And I assure you, His Highness was very amused - very amused indeed."

He clicked his fingers at the attendant who was bearing the tall royal headdress. The man came forward and settled the huge crest on Prince Creepy's head. The second man stepped forward and draped the feathered cape around Creepy's shoulders. The prince flashed a smirk at the American agents, then strode to the throne and seated himself upon it. Holding his head high, the prince added, "And of all people, I should know if His Highness the king was amused. Because, gentlemen, I am His Highness the king now!"

And as Jim and Artie turned to look at each other, Artie's face in particular plainly horrified, Prince Creepy - make that King Creepy - smiled gaily at the two and said with a merry wave, "Hello, boys. Hope you had a nice trip. Surprised to see me?"


	3. Act 2

**Act Two ~~~**

"It's quite simple, gentlemen," said the king as one of his men opened the door to a small parlor. West and Gordon followed His Highness inside, accompanied by Konani and a handful of other islanders, both men and women, including the no-longer giggling trio who had been flirting at the men earlier. "Papa, after unfairly hanging on to life and the throne for far too long, finally passed away a few months back. And now that the crown was mine, I could do what I wanted. So I did. Ah, brandy, gentlemen? Dear Artemus in particular looks as if he could do with a drink." The king waved a hand at the bar and Konani hurried over to pour the libations.

"Of course," added His Highness, "those tedious missionaries deplore alcohol as much as they deplore vanity," which he illustrated with a waggle of his bejeweled fingers. "And I," he laughed, "deplore missionaries!"

"What have you done with the Americans?" asked Jim.

"I? What have _I _done with them? Why, nothing, of course! I simply wrote a letter - set it there, Konani," he said to his man who was now serving the drinks. "I wrote a letter to your State Department making certain, ah, claims which may or may not have been true. And just as I hoped, those statements brought you here. My dear friends." He raised his glass to them, then took a drink. West and Gordon followed suit.

"And what is even better, dear friends," the king went on, "is the simply splendid ship you two arrived on! Oh, I am so going to enjoy having my own navy!"

"Your, ah, your own navy?" said Gordon.

"Why yesyesyes, didn't I mention that?" The king turned wide innocent eyes toward one agent, then the other. "Oh my, you didn't think this was all about you, did you? Yesyesyes, of course, I wanted you to come. After all, I had promised you a hunt. But the real reason behind insisting the two of you come to take charge of the negotiations to release your fellow countrymen was the fact that your government would naturally send you here on a naval vessel. I've already sent an engraved invitation to the ship inviting all the officers to dine with me here this evening. And once they are within the palace, I shall simply take them all prisoners. Just as you are my prisoners, my dear James and Artemus." He sipped his brandy again and smiled, a twinkle in his eye.

Two of the king's men stepped up now, each man clamping his hands around the arms of one of the Americans. Jim launched an elbow into the gut of his man, while Artie made a similar move with his swagger stick. Only… something was wrong. Both agents found that their movements were becoming increasingly sluggish, their brains increasingly woozy. As Jim turned to Artie and Artie to Jim, the King of the Coral Island laughed his merry laugh and said, "Good job, Konani. Our guests looked like they needed a little rest. Pleasant dreams, my friends!"

Moments later, the room swimming before their eyes, the two agents collapsed. The king took yet another sip of his own unadulterated brandy and, with a wave of his hand, ordered, "Lock them up."

…

Captain Liggett of the _Virginia _responded to the knock on his door with a preoccupied, "Come."

The door opened and Lieutenant Keighley entered, his cap tucked under his arm. "Sir, a letter for you."

"A letter?" Liggett set aside what he had been studying to accept the missive. Picking up a paper knife, he slit the envelope and looked over the contents. "Why, this is from the King of the Coral Island! An invitation for all officers of the _Virginia _to dine with him at the palace tonight."

"Dine with the king?" said Keighley eagerly.

"Hmm? Yes. Yes, that's what it says." But the captain was frowning at the letter, tapping his fingers against the desktop.

Puzzled, the lieutenant asked, "Sir? Is there something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, but it seems to me a curious thing that we should receive… Tell me, Lieutenant: why are we here?"

"Why… to deliver Mr West and Mr Gordon to conduct negotiations to secure the release of the captive Americans."

The captain nodded. "Correct. And here we have in hand a letter inviting all our officers to come dine with the king at the palace. In effect, gathering all the officers together in one place at the same time, and off the _Virginia_."

"Sir?"

"It just strikes me as curious that we officers - _American _officers - would be invited off the ship and onto an island in which we know someone resides who hates Americans."

"But, sir, the invitation is from the king! Surely you don't suspect him!"

"But is it from the king? How do we know? Perhaps it's from someone else and not from the king at all." He glanced up at the junior officer. "And as for whether or not I suspect the king, Lieutenant, I've learned in my years in this man's Navy to suspect practically everyone."

The captain continued to ruminate for a few moments, then said with decision, "Lieutenant, tell Major Riordan of the Marines that I would like to speak with him. I believe I have a job for him."

…

Jim was hearing voices: male and female, young and old, Islander and… New Englander? American? Jim turned his head and opened his eyes.

"Look! That one's waking up!" said one of the voices.

Iron bars surrounded Jim; he was in a jail cell. Well, it wasn't the first time in his life he'd awaken in such a place. A glance at the other iron cot showed him what he expected to find: his partner was sharing these luxury accommodations.

"Artie," called Jim.

"Mm… huh?" Artie too awoke and tried to sit up, then winced royally. "Oh, my head!" he groaned, instinctively clutching at his pounding noggin.

"You all right?" asked Jim.

"If feeling like my brain has been peeled, cored, and pickled falls within the range of all right, then yeah," said Artie. "Where are we?"

"Wherever the king had us locked up. And we're not alone."

Artie looked up. "We're not?"

"No, you're not," came a voice neither agent knew. "But you're obviously Americans, the same as Evelyn and I. I'm so very sorry we must meet under such unhappy circumstances."

With first an exchange of glances, Jim and Artie got up and came to the cell door to have a look at the man who had spoken. The jail cell they were in, they found, was one of a half-dozen cells in all, each of them completely separate from the others. The cells lined the walls of a large dank room which was lit by a single lamp hanging from the center of the ceiling. Four of the other cells were individually occupied by two men and two women, while the final cell held, of all things, a pair of children: a boy of about eight and a girl a year or so younger.

"Who are you?" asked Jim.

"Paul Davenport," replied the American who was in the cell closest to theirs. Gesturing to the cell beyond his, he continued the introductions with, "My daughter Evelyn," a matronly blonde, "as well as the local native pastor Kaniela, his wife Malana, and their two children Noa and Naomi. And you are…?"

"James West."

"Artemus Gordon."

"Oh dear!" That came from the American woman. "You've come? The negotiators? Oh, Father! He said he would bring them here, and he has!"

"Now, Evelyn," said her father, "don't lost heart. Don't lose faith. Just because…"

"But they are locked up, the same as we are. And you know what his plan is! You know that he brought them here to be able to steal the American ship!"

"He," said Artie. "You mean the king then? The new king, that is."

Evelyn nodded.

"He has the two of you held here," said Jim, "but where are the rest of the Americans?"

"Gone." That was the native pastor Kaniela.

"Gone?" said Artie, casting an ashen look at Jim. "You… you don't mean…"

"No, they are fine," Malana assured him.

"Yes, as far as we know, they're fine," said Paul.

"You see," said Kaniela, "it was no secret to us how His current Highness felt about the missionaries, and as His late Highness drew toward death, those of us who were friends of the missionaries made arrangements for the Americans to flee the Coral Island. They went to the Pearl Island, a few miles southwest of here. The people of that island are more welcoming than many of the people here, so they are safe there."

Evelyn, with great bitterness in her voice, said, "Yes, safe. As long as war does not break out between our island and the Pearl Island. But we all know that is his goal, to outshine his father by ruling two islands, not just one."

"Oh really?" growled Artie. "And with the use of his own private Navy, also known as the _SS Virginia_, I take it!"

"If that is the ship that brought you here, yes."

"But what about you? Why are you here? Why didn't you and your daughter escape as well?" Jim asked of Paul.

"Yes, and why are this man and his family locked up?" added Artie, gesturing at the four islanders in the three cells along the opposite wall.

"Kaniela and I were making sure the others got away first," Paul explained. "We were astounded when he and his wife and children were arrested along with me, for we had thought only the Americans were at risk."

With much amusement in his voice, Kaniela put in, "Yes, apparently under the new regime, being a pastor is a direct act of treason against the king!"

"And for my part, of course," Paul continued, "I could not leave without Evelyn."

"I was not leaving at all, Father," she said, head held high. "You know that. I had no intention of leaving Bob's side."

"Bob? Ah… who's Bob?"

"My husband. Late husband. It… is a long story."

"Long story!" That was one of the children, the little boy, Noa. "Not so long a story. Bob was the king!"

…

"Konani!"

The islander sprang to attention at the click of the young king's bejeweled fingers. "Yes, Your Highness?"

"Is all in readiness to greet my honored guests this evening?"

"All is being prepared, Your Highness," Konani replied with a bow.

"Goodgoodgood. However, I have changed my mind about one small matter. I wish Mr West and Mr Gordon to be brought before me, bound of course, to witness the capture of the officers from the naval ship that shall soon be mine. Fetch them!"

The royal factotum gaped at the king. "But… but, Your Highness!" he stammered.

The king turned a withering gaze upon him. "You dare to contradict your king?"

"No, no, of course not, Your Highness. It is only that you wished the Americans to be unconscious for a long time, and so I gave them a large dose of the medicine. They will be out for hours yet!"

The king scowled, then made a snort. "Oh," he said, then, "Well," and finally, "Hmm. And I suppose there's nothing you can do to wake them up earlier?"

"No, Your Highness."

The king made yet another snort, then waved Konani away. "Wellwellwell. What a pity they shall miss out on the evening's entertainment. Still, I shall want them brought before me as soon as they awaken. See to it!"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"And in the meantime, I believe shall take a nap before dinner. Ah, and what a dinner it shall be! Wonderfulwonderfulwonderful!"

Konani bowed his way out of the king's presence, then headed off sedately through the halls. But as soon as he was sure no one was observing him, he bolted for the stairs that led down to the holding cells. Oh, what a lot of problems a fickle monarch could cause!

…

"You're the king's widow?" said Jim.

"And his name was _Bob?_" added Artie.

"Yes," said Evelyn, obviously a bit taken aback by the snickering tone in Mr Gordon's voice. "His name was Kaulana A'ia'i, which means famous shining one. He asked me one day if there was an English name of the same meaning, and I told him yes, the name Robert. Later, when our son was born, Bob wanted a similar name in English, so I suggested Albert."

"Albert?" gasped Artie. "You mean to tell me that Prince Cree… I mean, King Cree…"

Jim's elbow in his side interrupted Artie's question, as the straight-faced agent drowned out his partner's favorite nickname for the new monarch with, "So your son is King Albert?"

"Yes. Albert Ke'alohi Ali'i. It means noble or royal brightness. Is there something wrong with your friend?" Her brows knit as she regarded Artie, who was hiding both his face and his laughter behind one hand.

"He's allergic to the damp," Jim said quickly. "We should get out of here."

"How?" That was the little girl Naomi. Clutching a doll in her arms, she turned large and liquid eyes toward the two Americans in the cell opposite the one she and her brother shared. "We have tried to get out. The bars are strong, and the floor is solid rock.

"The weakest point of any jail cell is generally the door," said Artie, "because that's the one part of the cell that's designed to open. And my friend Mr West here is a wizard at opening jail doors."

Everyone looked expectantly at Mr West, who reached under the lapel of his jacket and frowned. "My lock pick is missing."

"Uh-oh," muttered Artie. "Anything else missing?"

Both agents made a quick check of their hidden pockets, only to discover that the bulk of their gadgets were gone. "Someone was thorough," said Jim.

"Mm," returned Artie. "But not thorough enough. They overlooked these." He turned his jacket inside-out and peeled a long white ribbon off the white lining of his sleeve.

Jim smiled. "Good! Magnesium strips. They must not have realized what they are."

Their fellow captives exchanged puzzled looks, and Paul, speaking for them all, said, "But what are they?"

"Our way out," said Jim as he wound the length of magnesium around the lock. He then patted his pockets but came up empty. "I guess they took my matches along with everything else. What about you, Artie?"

His partner shook his head. "Sorry, Jim. I don't seem to have any either."

"You need matches?" said Paul. He pulled a matchbook from his pocket. "I have some."

"Thanks. Can you pass them…?"

Even as Jim spoke, Paul was giving the little book a toss to bridge the gap between his cell and theirs. And missed. The matchbook landed in the no man's land between cells, far out of reach of any of them.

There was silence, a long silence, as all eyes stared at the unreachable matches, then turned to look at the blushing Mr Davenport. "There's a reason I was never any good at sports," he muttered to himself.

"Well," said Artie, "It looks like we'll just have to do things the hard way instead. So what about paper? Does anyone have a bit of paper?"

"Here," said Jim as he brought forth a twenty dollar bill. "And it's nice to know our captors aren't money-grubbing thieves, hmm?" He held up the bill and added, "Money to burn?"

"You know it," said Artie as he removed the stick pin from his ascot and twisted the decorative end off, exposing a bit of gray stone within. He next pulled out his pocket watch and detached the metal fob from the ribbon.

"Flint," said Artie, indicating the stone in the stick pin, "and steel. Here we go!" As Jim held the twenty just below his partner's hands, Artie struck the flint against the little steel fob, producing a small rain of sparks. The bill soon caught on fire, and Jim then held it to the end of the magnesium strip wrapped round the lock.

The magnesium began to sputter, then to burn as both men pressed themselves back into the farthest corner of their cell. Shortly the lock drooped open and the two agents were able to open the door and walk out.

A spate of applause greeted them. "Thank you, thank you," said Artie, taking a bow. He peeled five more magnesium strips from the lining of his jacket and asked, "Who's next?"

The men said to release the women first, while the women voted for the children. Artie passed some of the strips to Jim and the agents split up, one heading to release the Americans, the other the islanders. Paul's matchbook was retrieved and all but emptied, so that soon all eight prisoners were free and gathered together in the center of the room.

"What do we do now?" asked Evelyn.

"Leave," said Kaniela, a sentiment everyone could agree with. They started for the only door.

"Hide!" hissed Artie. He and Jim each grabbed several of their fellow prisoners and hustled them to the wall alongside the door, the agents taking for themselves the spots closest to the door frame. A rattling clatter was coming from the door knob as a key clanked its way into the lock.

Someone was about to open the door!

…

Captain Liggett looked at his watch, then nodded and clicked it shut. "It's time."

Major Riordan nodded as well. He gestured and twenty men, resplendent in the uniforms of the ship's officers, headed down the gang plank to the shore.

"Enjoy the king's dinner, Major," said the captain.

"I certainly hope we shall, Captain," responded the major, then turned and followed the rest ashore.

The captain watched as the men marched away, heading for the road to the palace. "I hope I'm wrong," he said to himself. "Oh, how I hope I'm wrong."

…

The door opened and someone stepped inside. He closed the door softly behind him, then looked around the room. Seeing that all the cells were standing wide open now with not one of the occupants in view, the man who had just entered gave a cry of surprise.

The next moment he was on his knees, one of his arms wrenched up behind his back, a hand covering his mouth. "You'll be quiet?" Jim's voice inquired.

The man nodded.

"And no funny stuff?"

Again the man gave his silent assent.

Jim let him go, and by the dim light of the ceiling lamp, the prisoners now saw the face of the newcomer.

"Konani!" Evelyn ran to him and dropped to her knees by the islander's side, throwing her arms around him in a welcoming hug, Malana and the children right behind her.

"Auntie Evelyn!" Konani exclaimed. "You… you are all free! But how…?"

"Mr West and Mr Gordon did it," Noa answered gleefully.

"You…!" Konani came to his feet, his eyes wide and full of wonder. "The king said to search the two of you carefully, for you would have a great deal of weapons and so forth hidden in your clothing. And we did search you carefully, but apparently not carefully enough!" A big grin split the young islander's face as he held out his hands to the American agents. "But how wonderful! I expected you to be awake already, but did not expect that you would have worked so fast as to have everyone out of the cells so quickly! Shall we go?"

West and Gordon exchanged glances. "Go where?" said West.

"And why would we go anywhere with you?" added Gordon.

Their fellow prisoners gasped and a general hullabaloo arose, the main tenor of it being, "But what is wrong? Why are you being rude to Konani?"

"Konani is the king's man," said Jim.

"No, Konani is our man, spying on the king to learn his plans," said Paul.

"If that's so," said Artemus, "then why did Konani drug us so that the king could capture us?"

"I did drug you, that is true," said Konani. "I volunteered to pour the knock-out medicine into your drinks. The king wanted the two of you knocked out and locked up while he carries out his plan to take the officers of the _Virginia_, and afterwards he will take some of you to… well, that doesn't matter at the moment. The reason I volunteered to put the sleeping drug into your glasses was so that I could insure each of you got only a small amount of the drug, enough to knock you out only briefly."

"Oh, only briefly!" said Artie sarcastically. "And why would you do that, hmm?"

"In the hopes that you gentlemen would be able to take these my friends away from here. Their lives are in danger. The king has plans to…" He turned now to the American missionaries and said, "Oh, I did not wish to tell you, Auntie Evelyn, Uncle Paul, but the king is determined to execute you both." Evelyn gasped and flung a hand over her mouth, while her father slipped his arms around her protectively. "He has only been awaiting the arrival of these men," Konani continued.

"What…" faltered Evelyn, and her father took up her question. "What does he plan to do to us?"

"He…" Konani's eyes slid away, unable to meet theirs. "He has built a _luakini_ at Pu'u Ahi…"

At the mention of the native word, the Davenports and Kaniela's family all flinched. "No!" wailed Evelyn. "Oh, he _can't!_"

"Can't what?" asked Jim. Turning to his partner, he murmured, "What's a _luakini?_"

Artie shook his head. "I don't know, Jim. I'm not familiar with that word."

"It is a temple," said Kaniela, his brows knit into a deep frown. "A temple to the ancient gods of our people."

"In which," his wife added, "they would in times past offer up… well, sacrifices."

"Ha, yes," Kaniela finished for her. "_Human _sacrifices."

"What?" Artie cried, while Jim said, "And he plans to sacrifice his own mother and grandfather?"

"He…" Konani's eyes were shifting again. "After he has captured the officers of the American ship, he plans to hold a sacrifice to the ancient goddess of the volcano to ensure victory before sailing to the Pearl Island to conquer her people and put to death all the Americans there."

"Why his mother and grandfather?" asked Jim.

"Yes, and for that matter…" Artie put in. "Ah… well, I'd always wondered why it was that the Crown Prince of a South Pacific island hardly looked Polynesian at all. I see now it's because his own mother is Western. But why? I just don't get it. Why does he hate Americans so? And missionaries? One whole side of his family tree is Americans and missionaries!"

"It is precisely for that reason," said Kaniela. "He resents the influence his mother and grandfather always had over his father, and he hates for anyone to ever tell him No about anything."

"That is true," said Paul. "Albert is, unfortunately, quite a… well, a brat."

"A royal brat, you might even say," Artie muttered to Jim sotto voce.

"Wait - what of Kaniela and his family?" asked Evelyn. "What are his plans for them?"

Konani shook his head. "I do not know. He has not told me."

"And Mr West and Mr Gordon? What of them?"

"Again, he has not told me."

"But, Konani," said Evelyn, laying a hand on his arm, "what of Melelani?"

"Melelani?" asked Artie. "All right, who or what is a Melelani? That's… heavenly something, right?"

"Heavenly Song, yes," Malana translated.

"Heavenly indeed!" added Konani. A faraway look in his eyes, he said, "She is the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on in my life!"

And as the big islander stared off into the distance, his mind lost in thoughts of his beloved's charms, Paul explained, "Melelani is the daughter of the king of the Pearl Island. During the time that Bob had sent Albert to Washington to sign a treaty with the United States, Bob was also seeking a treaty with our near neighbor along more traditional lines. As part of that treaty between the Coral and Pearl Islands, their king sent one of his daughters with some companions here, and Bob sent one of his daughters with an equal number of our people there. When Melelani arrived…"

Evelyn for once smiled, "Yes, Bob told me he could not help but notice how swiftly our Konani was enraptured with Melelani, and how she was plainly smitten with Konani as well. And, in order to seal the treaty between our islands, Bob decreed that these two were to be married."

Konani scowled and reentered the conversation. "But then the Crown Prince returned," he said.

"Yes," said Kaniela darkly. "He said that it would not do for the daughter of the king of the Pearl Island to marry any of our people but the Crown Prince himself! He and the late king argued bitterly over the matter…"

"…Right up until the day of Bob's death," said Evelyn. "One of the last things Bob said to me was to be sure that Melelani marries Konani."

"But as soon as the king was dead," said Paul, "the new king claimed her to be his bride. He has not held the wedding yet - as far as we know?" And he turned and looked at Konani.

The man shook his head. "No. Not yet. He has been waiting for these gentlemen to arrive. Apparently all of his plans revolve around their presence, and of course the presence of the American naval ship. But then," he added, "all of my plans have revolved around the American ship as well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Artie suspiciously.

"Only that with the ship you arrived on, you will be able to spirit away from here all of these dear ones, as well as Melelani. Your ship can bear them to the Pearl Island, out of the king's grasp."

"Not yourself as well?" asked Jim.

Konani met his eyes steadily. "I have work to do here."

Jim gave it a moment's thought, then nodded. "All right. Artie, you escort our fellow prisoners to the _Virginia_. I'll go with Konani to get Melelani."

A huge grin broke out on Konani's face. Meanwhile, Artie said, "There's also the matter of the officers of the _Virginia _to consider."

"Right. Once we get these people aboard, then we can find out what's going on with them and plan accordingly."

"Ok, Jim."

"Let's go then." Waving everyone to silence, Jim eased the door open and had a look outside. No one was there. As Jim led the way out, Artie muttered to himself, "I'd like this a whole lot better if we hadn't been stripped of our equipment."

Konani snapped his fingers. "But of course, gentlemen!" he exclaimed, earning a general admonition of "Shh!" Dropping his voice to a whisper, he added, "Come with me," and led them all to a room just down the hall. He unlocked the door and flung it open with a flourish. There inside, spread out over a table top, were…

"Our gadgets!"

Quickly and efficiently, Jim and Artie packed away all their devices, although one pointed out to the other that the swagger stick was missing. Ready and loaded for bear now, they left the room. "Which way?" said Jim.

Konani pointed. "There is a hidden tunnel down the corridor ahead of us. It leads into an old lava tube."

"But, Konani, Albert knows of that passage as well. You all played in it when you were children."

"That is true, Auntie Evelyn. But the king has never mentioned placing a guard on the lava tube, so it may be safe. And it is certainly the quickest way out of here."

"Hidden tunnel, eh?" said Artie with interest.

"Yes," said Konani. "My father had it built when the palace was being erected."

"Oh? Who was your father then, the architect?"

There was a sudden silence as all the other prisoners turned to look at the two men who had just spoken. "Ah…" said Konani. "No. No, not the architect. My father was, ah…"

Evelyn came and put an arm around the young islander. "Konani is the son of one of Bob's other wives, and Albert's younger half-brother."

…

"Mymymy, what a lovely nap!" said the king, yawning and stretching as he arose. "Konani!"

There was no answer. Frowning, the monarch snapped his fingers. "Konani!"

When his factotum still did not respond, the king turned to another attendant. "Where is Konani?"

Bowing low, the attendant stammered out, "Y-your Highness wished the, ah, the Americans to be bound and brought before you once they were awake, and Konani was to see to it that they…"

"Oh, yesyesyes," the king interrupted impatiently. Snapping his fingers again, he now summoned one of his guards. "Take five - no, make that ten men with you and go down to the cells. Fetch Mr West and Mr Gordon to me here immediately. If they are still asleep, carry them here, but I want them now. And tell Konani to come as well!"


	4. Act 3

**Act Three ~~~**

Artie goggled. "You're Cree… I mean, you're the king's brother?"

Slowly, sheepishly, Konani nodded. "He forbids me to speak of it, though."

"I don't understand," Artie said to Evelyn as the group moved on down the corridor. "No offense, but I thought you said you were the king's widow. And yet he had a son younger than yours?"

"Oh, but you see, it was a polygamous marriage. Bob had twenty-six wives, counting me," Evelyn replied.

"Twen… twenty-six!" Artie nearly tripped over his lower jaw.

"It is an old custom among our people," said Kaniela. "The more wives a man has, the greater his prestige."

"And in Bob's case, he had staged a coup against the previous King of the Coral Island, and immediately afterwards demanded one bride be sent to him from each village of the island," said Paul. "This was shortly after we missionaries had arrived here, and the elders of the village in which we were living decided that, instead of sending one of their own daughters to the upstart king, they would take the _haole's _daughter and send her instead."

"So, twenty-six villages, twenty-six brides?"

Evelyn nodded. "And so I found myself in a situation very much like Esther's."

"But you reformed the king," said Jim.

"Yes. Eventually I became his favorite wife, which is why he named our son as the Crown Prince and…"

"Shh!"

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and turned toward Artie. His finger was still to his lips, but now he moved it to point back down the corridor the way they'd come. "What's that?" he whispered.

Voices, soft but growing louder, were coming their way. A door slammed open, and the voices rose in volume. Neither Jim nor Artie could make head or tail out of what was being said, but the faces of the others turned pale. "They're at the cells! They see we're gone!"

And now an angry voice called out, "_I mua!_"

"They're coming!" said Evelyn.

"And we're going!" Konani responded. "Go! _I mua!_"

They ran, pounding along the corridor, Paul and Kaniela helping Evelyn and Malana to keep up, Jim and Artie each scooping up one of the kids.

"_Aia! _There!" hissed Konani, pointing to a section of the wall. The building stones here looked no different from anywhere else in the passage, but when the big islander pressed on a certain stone, a small door opened up. "Get in there, go!" he urged. "_I mua!_"

Paul and Evelyn entered, followed by the pastor and his wife. Jim had just stepped in to hand off little Naomi to her mother when the child cried out, "My doll!"

Suddenly Noa twisted out of Artie's arms and ran back up the corridor. Artie charged after the boy, who stopped in the last turning and snatched up the little toy made of braided leaves and swathed in a miniature _mu'umu'u_. As he did, a yell rang out. Nearly a dozen men were running toward them down the corridor.

Artie grabbed the boy and hustled him back to the hidden passage, where Konani shoved the child inside and shut the door again. "Wait!" said Artie. "Jim's inside with them. I was supposed to go with them, and Jim with you!"

"No time to exchange you!" exclaimed Konani. "Come!" And with the islander leading the way, the two ran off.

…

Jim, finding himself on the wrong side of the door and with the wrong part of the group, passed the little girl to her mother and said, "Let's move."

The tunnel was dark and dank, but there were a few torches stacked near the door they'd just entered by, and shortly the last of Paul's matches had given their all to provide them with light. Jim led the way along the twisting but unbranching passage. "How far is it to the lava tube?" he asked.

"Not far."

A sound behind them announced that they were no longer alone.

"Go on!" Jim ordered the others. "Paul, Kaniela, get the women and children out of here. Get to the lava tube and find your way to the _Virginia_. I'll deal with these." He jerked his head toward the direction they had just come from and passed his torch to Evelyn.

Paul and the pastor urged the others to hurry and soon Jim was by himself in the dark, waiting.

And then he wasn't alone after all. A voice hissed to him, "Mr West!" and suddenly someone was at his side.

"Kaniela? What are you doing here?"

Jim could hear the pastor's grin in his voice. "Fighting the bad guys."

"Fighting? But you're a preacher!"

The man chuckled. "I wasn't always," he said. "And here in these islands, a boy grows up knowing how to fight!"

Jim wanted to speak further, to tell the pastor to get out of here and go follow the others, but the men West had stayed behind to take care of were coming closer and he needed silence now for the element of surprise.

The glow of a torch grew rapidly beyond the closest twist of the passageway. Jim glanced at Kaniela in that borrowed light, then both men pressed themselves back against the rough walls, trying to be as invisible as possible.

And now here came the king's men, hurrying as fast as they dared through the tortuous tunnel. The first of the men, the torch bearer, was nearly upon the hidden men before he saw them and cried out.

Jim jumped on him, knocking the torch from his hand and slugging him across the jaw. The man fell beside his guttering torch, the flickering light casting weird shadows dancing high on the walls and ceiling, lending the fight a surreal aspect as Jim turned to the next man and decked him too. Kaniela was right behind him, snatching up a native club from the torch bearer's side and using it to clout the man closest to him.

The leader of the king's men began yelling at the rest. A particularly big fellow charged at Jim, swinging a club at him. Jim ducked under the blow and rammed his fist into the fellow's gut, knocking the wind out of him.

Another came after the pastor. Kaniela used his borrowed club to jar the weapon out of his opponent's hand. And then the two were grappling together, each trying to gain control over the remaining club.

As Kaniela at last shoved the other man away, then used the club to lay him out, two more men went after the _haole_. One hit Jim high, the other low, and all three fell to the floor. Jim managed to chop one of them in the Adam's apple, and that man fell to the side, clutching at his throat. Now Jim gave his full attention to the other as they struggled together, each man grasping at the other, trying to gain the upper hand.

And now Jim saw his chance. He abruptly threw himself and his opponent into a roll, tumbling one over the other until…

"Aiee!" the other man screeched as he rolled onto the torch. Jim released him and sprang to his feet as the man twisted away from the firebrand. And with that, the torch gave up and went out, plunging all of them into deep darkness.

The leader was yelling more orders at his remaining men, and so it wasn't surprising that a fist found his noisy mouth. Down he went as well.

The final two took his example to heart and fell silent, listening for West and the pastor. They were still here somewhere, weren't they? Moving as quietly as possible, one of the king's men felt about on the floor till he discovered the torch. He then scratched a match on the wall and lit the firebrand anew.

Almost immediately a voice said, "Thank you," as Jim West loomed up across from him in the torchlight. One of Jim's hands took control of the torch while the other shot out and put the new torch bearer's lights out for him.

This left one man. He looked back and forth between the _haole _and the pastor, his face turning a bit pale. Jim grinned, then tossed the torch over to Kaniela and went after the last man. The man lost his nerve, gibbered something, then whirled to run - only to trip over one of his own and take himself out of the battle when he crashed to the floor.

Kaniela looked over the unconscious men, then raised his eyes to meet West's.

"Let's go," said Jim.

"Sounds good to me," the pastor replied and they set off to catch up with Paul and the women and children.

…

One of the king's men had been left behind to keep watch over the entrance to the hidden tunnel. As he stood there guarding it, he saw a man come strolling along from further down the passageway. Immediately the guard's hand dropped to the club dangling at his waist, then withdrew again as he recognized that the man was Konani.

The guard instead came to attention and said, "Sir! His Highness requests your presence!"

"Oh, he does, does he? I'll need to go right on up then, won't I?" Konani replied. "And are you to escort me?"

"No sir. The prisoners have all escaped, and I am to guard the tunnel to the lava tube."

Konani smiled nostalgically. "I used to play in that tunnel when I was a child. Did you do the same?"

The guard gave him a puzzled look. "I… Sir, the king has summoned you. You should not keep him wait…"

A hand stole over the guard's mouth, a hand holding a cloth with a strange smell to it. Without enough presence of mind to hold his breath and with his mouth now blocked, the guard naturally inhaled through his nose, got a hefty dose of the chemical on the cloth, and instantly relaxed into unconsciousness. Artie caught the man, dropped the cloth lest he or Konani be affected by it, and lowered the guard to the ground.

"The king's looking for you, hmm?"

"Yes," said Konani with a worried look. "I wonder why."

"One way to find out," Artie replied. He gestured up the corridor and they started back along the way that would take them past the abandoned cells to the stairway beyond.

"What if he suspects?" said Konani. "What if he has caught on to my duplicity?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," said Artie. "In the meantime, is there anywhere we can go first before you meet with His Highness where I might, ah…" He smiled. "…change clothes?"

…

"Kaniela!" Malana hugged her husband as he and Jim caught up with their group.

"Where are we?" said Jim. The passage ahead of them seemed to have come to a dead end.

"The lava tube is just beyond that door," said Paul, waving a hand at the blank wall in front of them.

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Door?"

"Well, yes. It's concealed to avoid anyone sneaking into the palace from the lava tube."

"Concealed on this side as well?" said Jim. He stepped closer to the wall, examining it. Everything looked perfectly normal for a rough-hewn rock wall. And then he spotted one part of the wall that looked just a little bit too normal. He touched the spot, then pressed hard.

A door popped loose within the wall. Jim swung it open and had a look beyond. "No guards," he said, adding, "yet."

"Let's go," said Paul, offering Evelyn his arm.

Kaniela reminded the children to keep absolutely quiet, and they all passed through the door into the lava tube.

Jim looked around at the walls of the lava tube, noting how they rose into an arched roof overhead. He gave a small smile, thinking of how, if Artie had been here, he would have been hard pressed not to show off a little by explaining how a lava tube formed, how the roof above their heads represented the upper layer of some flowing lava of long ago, and how that upper layer, because of its exposure to air - or even to water, for that matter - had cooled down faster than the lava flowing just below the top layer, so that the topmost part of the lava had hardened, and then the liquid lava beneath had flowed away, leaving this long hollow of a cave behind.

A thought occurred to him and he asked, "How active is the volcano?"

"Not very," Kaniela replied. "Mostly the lava rises and subsides again in the caldera. I've heard it said that's how she breathes, but she hasn't erupted in my lifetime."

"She?"

"Ah. Old habit," the pastor said.

"The volcano is considered the special property of the fire goddess," Paul explained.

"The goddess my son plans to have us sacrificed to, yes," added Evelyn.

And now Jim waved them to silence, for they were approaching the end of the tunnel. He extinguished his torch and the others followed suit. Gradually their eyes became accustomed to the darkness, for it was night outside. Signaling for the others to stay back and wait, Jim glided noiselessly to the end of the tunnel and looked out.

By the light of the gibbous moon framed by the stunning panorama of the Milky Way arching overhead, Jim could see the lush island jungle all around the entrance, a faint path crossing before him, leading off to the left and the right. No one was here. He waved the others forward.

"Which way to the harbor?" he asked Paul softly.

"That way," the missionary replied, pointing to the left.

Jim nodded and led off, the two other men carrying the children this time. The soft sounds of the jungle at night accompanied them: the buzzing of insects, the calling of frogs and night birds, the distant crash of something large moving through the brush.

Suddenly the night noises stopped, all except for the distant crash, and it was moving closer!

…

"What are you doing?" Konani hissed. "His Highness is waiting for me!"

"Almost done…" Artie responded. Moments later he added, "There!" and emerged from behind the changing screen. "How do I look?"

Konani's eyes bulged. Artemus had transformed himself into a little old lady, an islander. Konani took in the shaggy hair streaked with gray, the long hooked nose, the three prominent warts, the set of jaw that suggested a complete lack of teeth, the dowager's hump, the faded _mu'umu'u_. "Where did you get all that?" he asked.

"Now now, magicians never reveal their secrets," Artie replied. "All right, where do I find Melelani?"

"I'll show you. _Hele mai_. Come on." Konani steered him from his apartment and down the hall.

"And what do I say to her when I've found her? _I mua?_"

The young islander shook his head. "No. _I mua_ is Go. _Hele mai _is Come on. But she speaks English."

"_She _does," Artie responded. "But would an old islander lady like this?"

Konani eyed him. "But you don't know our language!"

"That's why I asked. _Hele mai!"_

They continued down the hall, then turned a corner. "There," Konani pointed. "The second door on the right."

Artie nodded, his eyes taking in every feature of the hall, especially every possible exit. "And where will you be, Konani?"

"With the king," the young fellow sighed.

"Hmm. I don't envy you that. All right, meet you back at the _Virginia _then." Artie set off down the hall, hunched and shambling, giving every impression of being an aged woman. He reached the door, glanced back at Konani and threw the young man a wink, then knocked on the door.

…

"Off the path," Jim hissed at the others. "Into the jungle. Keep quiet, and nobody wander off!"

They all vanished into the underbrush, leaving the pathway empty. Barely had the leaves ceased to tremble from their passage when a wild boar came racing along the path, grunting and snorting. It passed by, and Paul started to leave the shelter of the trees, but Jim snatched him back and laid a finger over his lips.

"What?" asked Paul.

"Shh!" Jim replied.

And now a group of six islanders bearing spears came charging down the path on the trail of the boar, their footfalls much quieter than those of the noisy porker. When they too had disappeared and could no longer be heard, Jim waited a couple more minutes, then led his group back out onto the path again and they set off once more.

Paul looked back, then turned a puzzled face toward the others. "What are they doing? Why are they hunting at night?"

"Poachers," said Jim.

"Yes," said Kaniela. "There are many who hunt here even though it is the king's private preserve. Knowing how severe the penalties are, they must be very hungry, very desperate to feed their families."

They had walked on for a few more minutes when the pastor suddenly added, "That is, unless they are…"

There was a slight sound. Jim whirled to see what had made that noise and found that Malana was struggling in the arms of a big islander. Kaniela rushed toward her captor, barking out something in his native tongue. The islander laughed at him and lifted Malana right off her feet.

And then five more islanders appeared, two of them bearing the wild boar between them, all trussed up and dangling from a spear borne across their shoulders. It was the hunting party. One of the three who was carrying neither the boar nor Malana stepped forward, his attitude officious and arrogant as he spoke to the pastor. He gestured at the Americans as he spat out words at Kaniela.

And then his words sputtered to a halt. "Kekoa?" he said.

"I am Kaniela now," said the pastor, adding something in their own language that Jim suspected was the translation. "And she is my wife!"

The leader made a sign with his hand, and the other released Malana. She rushed to her children, gathering them close. And as Kaniela and the leader continued to converse, occasionally with loud voices and angry gestures, Jim said softly to those near him, "They know each other."

"Yes," said Evelyn. "After Bob deposed the old king and proclaimed himself the new one, that man there rose up in opposition, calling himself Kekipi - the Rebel. He attracted many men to his side. They made camps for themselves on the slopes of Pu'u Ahi and harassed Bob's men, and also any locals they saw as being friends of the king."

"Ah… and one of the Rebel's men was Kaniela," Jim said, catching on.

"Yes," said Paul. "He was called Kekoa back then. The Brave One. And then Bob's men captured Kekoa and hauled him before the throne. Bob looked down on Kekoa and said, 'What shall I do with you?' I was in the king's court that day, and before I even thought through what I was saying, I spoke up and requested of the king, 'Spare him. Give him to me.' And to my amazement, Bob did."

"And out of gratitude, Kekoa the warrior became Kaniela the pastor?"

Malana laughed. "Gratitude? No. But gradually the love of God that lives in the hearts of these missionaries broke through to the man I eventually married. He is still the Brave One." She nodded at the six rebels. "They want to kill us all, some for being _haole_, some for being friends of _haoles_. But Kaniela has asked them, 'Which do you despise more, the _haoles _or the king? For if you let these go on to the American ship, that will anger the king beyond measure.' "

"And their answer?" asked Jim.

The rebel leader Kekipi signed to his men. The two with the boar carried it away, disappearing along the path, while the rest surrounded the small group of the king's former prisoners. Now Kekipi pointed, growling out, "_Hele mai_," and Jim and the others found themselves being herded along through the jungle at spear point.

…

Artie, hunching over to be the old woman, knocked on the door and could hear light footsteps coming his way. To his great delight, the door was opened by the slender young woman who had been flirting with, well, obviously with Konani. The love-struck islander's assertion that his Melelani was the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on rang in Artie's memory as he smiled up at the young lady and said, "_Hele mai_."

"_Hele mai?_" She looked puzzled, then said something more that Artie was hopelessly unable to understand. Berating himself internally for not asking Konani for a longer language lesson, he smiled again at the girl and made gestures for her to follow him. "_Hele mai! Hele mai!_" he repeated, then added, "Konani!"

"Konani!" The girl turned and called out something to someone deeper in the room. And now one of the other flirty girls appeared, the middle-sized one. The two talked together for a bit, the slender girl gesturing at Artie as he stood there in the doorway still being the bent old woman. The heavier girl now turned to him and plainly started asking Artie questions which he had no chance of understanding or replying to intelligently. All he could do was keep repeating, "Konani," and "_Hele mai!_"

And now the third girl, the heaviest of them all, joined the group by the door. Artie listened as the three had a rapid-fire conversation among themselves, until at last, fed up, he shoved his way into the room, shut the door behind him, stood up straight, and said, "Look, ladies. Konani sent me to get Melelani out of here, so come on and let's go!" And he caught the slender girl by the wrist to haul her from the room.

…

"Where are they taking us?" Jim asked Kaniela softly.

"Kekipi says that he cannot trust us. If he lets us go, how can he be sure that we will to go to the American ship and leave the Coral Island? And so he says that he and his men will escort us to the ship."

"Ah," said Jim.

"Except…" the pastor added.

"Except?"

Kaniela shook his head. "If we are being taken to the harbor, this is the longest shortcut to reach it that I have ever known."

…

"Your Highness, they are here!" announced one of the king's men.

"Oh, goodgoodgood! James, Artemus, and Konani?"

"Ah… no, your Highness," said the young fellow nervously. "The, ah, officers of the American ship."

"Oh, _them! _Excellent! I shall have to go out and greet my guests, shan't I?" He giggled, then turning serious he added, "Have Konani fetch dear James and Artemus along when they arrive. I want them to see the reception I have planned for their American comrades."

…

"If Konani sent you for Melelani, why are you taking Hokulani?"

Artie stopped and stared at the three girls, small, medium, and large. And now another statement popped up from his memory again, Prince Creepy's remark about how the men of his island preferred…

Artie released the slender girl's hand and pointed at the biggest. "You're Melelani then."

She dimpled and giggled. "Yes. These are my cousins, Hokulani and Pualani. And you, you are Mr Gordon, aren't you? I thought the king had you and your friend locked up."

"Not anymore." He explained recent events briefly, then said, "You'll be safer on the _Virginia_, Miss Melelani. It can carry you home to your own island. But we need to hurry. We need to go now."

She nodded. "Of course, Mr Gordon." And she turned to the other two and said something that sounded very much like…

"Ah… Did you just tell them '_Hele mai'?_"

"Why yes, Mr Gordon. If it is not safe for me to remain here on the Coral Island, how much less safe will it be for my cousins once I am gone?"

"Hmm. Good point. All right, ladies, _hele mai!_"

…

Konani swallowed hard, adjusted his vest, then stepped up to the door of the king's suite, only to have the door flung open right in his face.

"Ah, Konani! There you are!" called the king merrily. "And where are my special guests?"

As the king peered beyond the factotum, looking down the hall, inspiration struck Konani. "The, ah, men you sent downstairs to help me are bringing them. They shall be here shortly."

"Ah, excellent! Have them bring dear James and Artemus to the outer courtyard. Oh, but I do hope they'll just love the surprise I have for the ship's officers, don't you?" The king used the swagger stick in his hand to tap Konani on the chest, then swept on past him, accompanied by his entourage. "But do go and hurry them along, Konani! Mustn't keep the captain of the _Virginia _waiting!" His Highness broke out into giggles as he and his retinue left Konani behind.

The young man stood in the hallway for a moment, then hurried off in a different direction to go catch up with Mr Gordon and help him spirit Melelani away.

…

Major Riordan and the men with him stood before the guarded gate of the palace, waiting and watching. The door on the far side of the courtyard opened briefly, emitting a small man who crossed the courtyard with great dignity and spoke to the two guards. Instantly they shifted the crossed spears to admit the men of the _Virginia_. The dignified man bowed and spread an arm toward the interior, inviting the Americans to enter. And so they did.

The major's eyes missed nothing on the short journey across the courtyard. And now the interior door opened once more, and the small man of dignity bowed, proclaiming, "His Highness King Ke'alohi Ali'i, King of the Coral Island!"

The king, flanked by his retainers, smiled upon his guests. "Good evening, dear friends!" he said. "I suppose you were expecting my father, King Kaulana A'ia'i. If so, you're a few months too late, I'm afraid. I am now king, and you, dear gentlemen, are now my prisoners." He beamed at the men of the _Virginia_, enjoying the susurration of disbelief that arose from among them and the expressions of consternation upon their faces.

"In fact," the king continued, "if you will look around you, you will discover that you are well covered by my men with their Gatling guns!" He used his swagger stick to point to the left and the right, grinning with pleasure at his accomplishment of trapping the ship's officers of the _Virginia_. "And so, if you value your lives, you'll surrender right now."

"One small problem," came a voice from that crowd.

The king frowned. Someone was talking back to him? An American dared to contradict him? "Who is that? Whowhowho?"

"I am Major Riordan," said the upstart American. "And actually, let's make that two problems, and not really small ones either. To start with, whoever set up this trap of yours is an idiot, because you have us in the middle with Gatling guns on either side of us."

"So?"

"So as soon as your men start firing, they'll be firing not just at us, but at each other."

A new susurration arose, this time among the islanders manning the Gatling guns as those who understood English expressed shock, and those who didn't know English got the translation from those who did.

The king opened and shut his mouth several times. "Butbutbut…"

Riordan, standing ramrod straight, interrupted His Highness with, "And would you like to know the other problem with your plan to trap the officers of the _Virginia?_"

The king again opened his mouth a few times before finding the voice to ask, "What now?"

The major grinned. "These men are not the officers of the _Virginia_. They are my men, a company of United States Marines!"

Fury erupted across the king's face and he stamped his foot. "You… you tricked me? Oh! Get them!" he screamed. "Firefirefire!"

In his anger the king issued his order in English at first, confusing those who knew none. And by the time he realized his error and yelled out the order in translated form to men who had already learned that firing their guns would kill their own people, the Marines had rushed the gun nests on either side of them and the battle was joined hand-to-hand.

…

"Uh-oh."

That sentiment spread throughout the small group as Jim and his companions recognized by moonlight where they were being taken. "That's the palace."

Kaniela stopped walking and turned toward Kekipi, his tone of voice as he spoke to the rebel leader making it plain that he was demanding to know what was going on. And from the manner in which Kekipi answered him…

"Let me guess," Jim said softly. "The rebels didn't like the old king, but they're hoping the new one will make concessions to them if they turn us over to him."

Several of the others nodded, and little Naomi began to cry.

Kekipi shoved the pastor forward as his men continued to herd the group toward the palace, taking them toward the front gate. Kekipi then lengthened his strides to reach the gate far in the lead of the others. But just as he was stepping up to the guards to announce that he had business with the king, they all heard a voice cry out from within, "Firefirefire!" and then chaos erupted inside the courtyard.

…

"Mr Gordon!"

Artie turned to see Konani hurrying their way. "What are you doing here?" he asked the young man.

Konani took a moment to catch his breath before explaining that the men of the _Virginia _were at the gate and the king had gone to meet them. "And he wants you and Mr West to witness what he's doing."

"Nice," said Artie. He thought for a second, then said, "Look. You take the young ladies and head out for the _Virginia _through the hidden tunnel."

"But where are you going?" said Konani.

"To see what I can do to help the officers, of course. Now go. _I mua!_" And while Konani and the girls set out for the tunnel, Artie, still made up as an old woman, hurried toward the front of the palace, the gears of his mind meshing as he mentally mixed together the secret items he had on him to come up with a plan to aid the other Americans.

…

The guards at the door had been ready to challenge Kekipi and his men when the fighting broke out inside. One of the guards rushed into the courtyard to help his fellow islanders against the _haoles_, while the other threatened the other group of fellow islanders outside the door. This led to a heated exchange as Kekipi and the guard yelled at each other, with the rest of the rebels keeping watch over their small band of prisoners.

Kaniela jerked his head toward the palace and demanded something of the rebel closest to him. And as that man turned his attention to the little pastor, the chaos inside the courtyard burst out the gate, carrying Kekipi and the gatekeeper with it.

Jim saw his chance and took it. While the three rebels were startled with the spillover of hostilities, Jim caught hold of two of their spears, wrestling the men for control of the weapons, and at the same time ordering his other prisoners to "Go!" One of the rebels managed to jerk his spear out of West's hand, then tried to run him through with it, only to find that West was no longer where he expected him to be. The other rebel was, however, and in trying to avoid injuring his own man, the hapless fellow jerked his spear upward seconds before crashing into his companion. Both fell to the ground and then Jim was on them, knocking out one, then the other. He glanced around to locate the third and found that Kaniela was handling him.

As the third and final rebel guard bit the dust, Jim came over to Kaniela and together they scanned the area for Paul and the others. Ah! They had taken refuge behind some nearby trees. Pointing them out, Jim said to the pastor, "You take them to the harbor and get them onboard the ship. I'm going to see what I can do to help out here."

Kaniela nodded, then laid a hand on Jim's arm. "The Lord watch over you," he said very seriously. "You and Mr Gordon as well."

Jim smiled grimly. "And you also," he said. Then he turned and ran to the palace to join in the fray.

…

"Nonono! Shoot them!" screeched the king. "Kill them!" He was literally hopping mad, jumping up and down in the doorway overlooking the courtyard, yelling and screaming as the fight continued both right in front of him and beyond the gate.

And then he saw a sight that caused him to blanch and shrink back. There at the gate a man came battling his way in through the Marines and islanders. Once inside, the man looked around, then seized one of the rifles cached by the gateway. He checked over the rifle quickly, then threw it to his shoulder and called out, "That's enough, Your Highness. Call off your men!"

The king's mouth fell open. "James West?" he yelped. "How is that possible? Howhowhow?" He looked to the attendants flanking him for an explanation as to how his prisoner, supposedly being brought up bound from the dungeons, was instead running in free by the front gate.

And then the king decided the explanation didn't really matter. West was here, free, and armed with a weapon which he was aiming at the king. "Get _him!_" he howled. "Shoot him! Shoot James West!" And he looked around, expecting someone in charge of a Gatling gun would obey. The problem with that, though, was that all his gunners were busily engaged in hand-to-hand fighting with the Marines.

Grabbing the attendant standing closest to him, the king ducked behind him to use him for a shield. "Get out there!" he now ordered the entire entourage. "Go man the Gatling guns and kill Mr West!"

And as soon as his retainers scattered to do his bidding, the king turned and scampered like a rabbit into the palace. Jim West tilted the aim of his rifle upwards and fired a shot into the courtyard roof, startling most of the islanders. And as the Marines took advantage to gain the upper hand over the king's men, Jim tossed the rifle to Major Riordan and set off after the escaping monarch.

…

Artie found his way back into the throne room through a small side door and paused to dig a few handy items out of his pockets. He was just smoothing the _mu'umu'u_ back down over his clothes when the main door slammed open and in ran none other than the king himself.

"Out of my way!" cried the king, then made a face at himself and said something Artie didn't understand; no doubt he was repeating the same order in his native language.

The door slammed open a second time, and now Jim raced in. "It's over, Your Highness," he said. "Your prisoners are free and on their way to the _Virginia_, and the Marines are subduing your men. You're finished."

"No I'm not! I'm still the king here!" His Highness ran behind the old woman, keeping her hunched and ancient frame between himself and Mr West. "And, and I still… I still have Artemus!" the king added.

Jim smiled at that statement. "Oh, you do."

"Yes! My men… that is, Konani! Konani brought him to me. I have him bound and I'll kill him if you don't do what I say!"

West took a step closer. "I don't believe you, Your Highness."

"I wouldn't either," the old woman said, suddenly standing up tall and straight. "After all, you can always tell when His Highness is lying, because his lips are moving."

The king reeled back from the old woman, his eyes wide in shock. "You!"

"At your service, O King!" Artie smirked and bowed low.

"Why you…!" The king raised the swagger stick in his hand to whack the man in disguise, only to find that Artie easily caught the end of the stick and prevented the blow from landing.

"It's over, Your Highness," said Artemus.

"No it isn't! Haha_ha! _This is _your _swagger stick and I'll just…" The king twisted his end of the stick, causing the knob before Artie's face to iris open, expecting that a cloud of knock-out gas would issue forth.

Nothing happened.

"Whatwhatwhat?" cried the king.

Artie shrugged. "It's empty. I didn't have time to load a new charge into it."

"Now come along," Jim began, but the king yanked Artie's wig down over the agent's face, then took off running again. Jim charged after him, and Artie flung the wig away and plunged into the chase as well. The king dodged behind the throne, glaring at the two Americans who now closed with him, one coming up on either side of the throne.

"You can't arrest me. I am the king! I am the law in this island!"

"We don't need to arrest you," said Jim.

"Yeah," Artie agreed. "All we have to do is tell your people the things you've been up to and let them deal with you for themselves."

"Ah?" said the king, a gleam coming up in his eye. "And what will you tell them, hmm? That I was ridding our island of Americans? Or that I was planning a sacrifice to our ancient goddess? Do you really believe my people will be angry with me over that?"

"Not just any sacrifice, Your Highness, but your own mother and grandfather!"

"Oh!" he snorted in response. "Really, that just shows how little you know of our ways. Why, the goddess of Pu'u Ahi was traditionally placated by the sacrifice of members of the royal family. The higher the rank, the better!"

Artie's face paled and he glanced at Jim, who returned the glance. Both men then turned back to the throne.

"Where'd he go?"

For there was no one standing behind the throne anymore. The two agents sprang forward, coming in from either side, to find that the little monarch was simply not there at all. As Artie stood and surveyed the otherwise empty room, thumping a finger against his nose, Jim made a closer inspection of the throne.

"Artie!"

"Aha! A trap door!" The men opened it and peered down a shaft descending into darkness, a ladder conveniently affixed at one side. "Hmm," said Artie. "Once more into the breach." Quickly he divested himself of his old woman disguise, then said, "After you, James my boy," and the two of them started down the ladder in pursuit of the king.


	5. Act 4

**Act Four ~~~**

There were torches at the bottom of the ladder and Artie lit one. "Which way?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

Jim examined the tracks in the dust and started off. They hadn't gone very far before the tracks disappeared into a wall. With a glance at each other, the two agents began searching the wall, touching here and there, looking for…

Ah! Jim pressed on a certain rock, causing the wall to swing open, only to find that the passage on the other side was familiar to them. Artie jerked a thumb toward the right. "Back that way are the cells we were held in."

Jim indicated the opposite direction. "And off this way is the course the king took. Heading for the hidden tunnel, do you think?"

"Mm-hmm. That would be my guess."

They hurried on, coming quickly to the entrance to the tunnel. They opened that door as well and slipped on into the twisting passageway beyond, pausing first to listen.

Yes, there was someone else in here! They could hear a voice, perhaps more than one, for the echoes garbled whatever was being said. Then there was a thud, followed by feminine wailing. "The girls!" hissed Artie.

"What girls?"

"Melelani and her two cousins. Konani was taking them through the tunnel to reach the _Virginia!_"

Neither man said "Come on." It wasn't needed. They just took off as fast as they could through the winding tunnel.

Before long they found the site of Jim's earlier battle with the king's men. Signs of the scuffle were still visible, but what drew the agents' attention was the lone man lying on the floor, bound and moaning.

"Konani!"

They untied him and helped him to sit up. As Artie tended to the small gash on the young islander's forehead, Jim asked him, "What happened?"

"I was leading Melelani and her cousins through the tunnel, hoping to take them to safety aboard your American ship, when we came upon several of the king's men here. They stopped us and demanded to know what we were doing. And while we were still arguing, the king himself came along." Konani groaned, shaking his head. "If he did not know before that I am against him, he has surely figured it out now! He ordered his men to capture the girls and to deal with me."

"You're lucky their idea of dealing with you didn't include killing you," said Jim. "Where did he take the girls?"

"I don't know," said Konani, "but wherever he's taken them, they are not safe."

"That's an understatement," opined Artie. "Are you all right now?"

Konani nodded. "I will be."

"Good." Artie patted him on the shoulder, then followed Jim as they headed on deeper into the tunnel, leaving Konani behind. Shortly they reached the hidden door to the lava tube, then continued on to reach the outside - and Jim smiled to himself as Artie took the opportunity to delineate to him how lava tubes come to be, just as Jim had predicted on his previous trip through the tube.

And now they reached the moonlit jungle at last. Jim hunkered down to study the ground. "They went off that way," he said, pointing to the right.

"Ok," said Artie. "Keep the torch?"

"No, it'll call attention to ourselves."

"Right." He extinguished the firebrand, then waited for a bit for his eyes to adjust. "I'm ready, Jim."

"Let's go." And they set off in pursuit of the king and his captives.

…

The king's men had tied gags around the girls' mouths and bound their hands as well. It was neither easy nor pleasant for the three young women to be hauled along the jungle trail as the path climbed higher and higher up the slopes of Pu'u Ahi. At length they burst forth from the narrow path lined by dense undergrowth into a clearing high on the side of the mountain. And there ahead of them, built on the rugged ascent just below the rim of the volcano's caldera, was a large building, its roof thatched with a thick mat of palm leaves, and its front side fully open to the breeze. Garlands of flowers adorned the building, and within it a blazing fire was burning. Standing by the fire was a man wearing a large wooden mask that extended both high above his forehead and down below his chin; he was clad as well in an elaborate feathered headdress and a long grass skirt.

"Here we are!" giggled the king, stepping inside the building and spreading his arms wide to show it off. "What a lovely view from up here! Don't you agree, my dears?"

Melelani and her cousins only scowled at the monarch.

"Oh, but ofcourseofcourseofcourse! How can you answer me with your mouths muzzled? Do untie them at once. Yesyesyes, their hands as well!" he directed his men. And as soon as Melelani was set at liberty, she marched over to the king and slapped him with all her might.

The king gaped at her even as his men grabbed her and twisted her arms behind her back. "Why, whatever was that for!" cried the king.

"You have brought us to a _luakini!_" she fumed at him. "You intend to sacrifice us to the fire goddess, you barbarian!"

"Oh, don't be silly! I built this place to sacrifice the Queen Mother to the fire goddess, and her father as well. Do you really think would I sacrifice you? Don't you remember that I intend to marry you?"

Her hands now tied behind her back again, Melelani spat in the king's face and declared, "I would never marry you! Not if you were the last man on earth!"

The king produced a silk handkerchief and delicately wiped off the spittle. "Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that, my dear. After all, you wouldn't want anything to happen to your precious cousins, would you?"

"You leave them alone!" demanded Melelani.

"I shall leave them alone once you are my bride," said the king, smiling at the horrified daughter of the king of the Pearl Island. "You and I shall be wed, sealing the treaty between our two islands. And once that little formality is done," he grinned, his eyes dancing, "that's when the real fun begins."

…

"You realize," Artie said as he and Jim followed the king's trail up the mountain, "that he's keeping his promise to you."

"What promise?" asked Jim.

"Oh, the one about the two of you going on a hunt once you were here on the Coral Island. Of course," Artie added, "who would have ever guessed that this time, instead of him hunting you as a two-legged buffalo, we'd be hunting him as a two-legged weasel!"

Jim gave a small snort, then stopped in his tracks and lifted a finger to his lips. Both men listened, then in silent mutual agreement, they stepped off the trail into the underbrush in opposite directions.

A soft sound, growing louder, was following them up the mountain. The sound came closer, revealing its source to be a shadowy figure toiling up the trail. When the figure came abreast of the agents, both sprang out, Jim wrapping his arms around it, Artie lifting the swagger stick threateningly.

Their pursuer let out a squawk of protest and Jim released him as Artie lowered the swagger stick. "Konani! What are you doing here?"

"What do you think I am doing here? That madman has my beloved! Do you expect me to sit in the palace and twiddle my thumbs in the hopes that she will be safe?" The young man's eyes were sparking with fury, a fact plainly evident even by moonlight.

Jim and Artie exchanged glances, then nodded and set out again accompanied by their new colleague.

The three men soon reached the edge of the clearing and crouched in the undergrowth, watching and listening. They arrived just in time to hear a woman's voice passionately declare, "I will not!"

"That's Melelani!" said Konani. The young man surged to his feet, ready to dash out there to save his captive sweetheart, but West and Gordon physically restrained him.

"Don't just charge out there without a plan!" Artie hissed as they released him.

"I can see a dozen men not counting the king, four of them inside, possibly more out of sight around the back of the building," said Jim, "but who is that masked man?" and he nodded toward the strange figure in the grass skirt standing apart from all the rest.

"That is the _kahuna_," said Konani. "The priest of the fire goddess."

"Priest?" said Artie with foreboding. "What could the king have in mind that he needs a priest for?"

Meanwhile, the king was laughing merrily at the angry young princess. "Oh, I think you will," he rejoined gleefully. "In fact, you will agree to do anything and everything I tell you to do, or your cherished cousins will suffer for it."

For reply Melelani spat in his face again.

Black rage lit the king's eyes now as he drew forth the silk handkerchief once more to wipe off her answer. "Very well," he said. "If that's how much you care for your cousins, let's see how much Pu'u Ahi likes them. Guards!"

Two of his men stepped forward, each one seizing one of the princess' cousins.

With a dismissive gesture, the king said, "Into the volcano with them!"

"No!" shrieked Melelani, and the three men at the edge of the clearing sprang to their feet, about to break cover to come to the rescue of the two helpless maidens.

Except the maidens weren't quite as helpless as everyone thought. As the king's men tried to bear the girls out of the building and up the last of the slope to the brink of the caldera, both girls fought back mightily. Hokulani managed to kick her man to the point that he lost his grip on her. She hit the ground running, scampering back the way they'd come to reach the safety of the path through the jungle. Pualani also broke free by dint of a judicious application of fingernails to her man's eyes. She too ran, only to be grabbed again by another of the guards.

Hokulani ran on with two men in hot pursuit.

"Oh, forget her!" called the king. "We still have this one!" He smiled at Pualani as she continued struggling to free herself from the grip of two of his guards. "My, but you're a fighter!" he said to her, chuckling. "Perhaps you should be one of my warriors!" Then, turning to Melelani, he said, "What is your answer now, my brave beauty, hmm?"

Hokulani plunged into the jungle only to be caught almost immediately, a strong arm sweeping her off her feet, a firm hand muffling her shriek of alarm. "It's all right," said a voice in her ear. "You're among friends." The hand came off her mouth and the arm set her down.

She saw now that the man who had caught her for a brief moment was Mr West, and that with him were Mr Gordon and "Konani! Oh, Konani! The king is trying to force Melelani to marry him!"

"That explains the priest," said Artie.

"All right, you stay here," said Jim to the young woman, "while Mr Gordon, Konani and I…" He broke off as Artie, beside him, burst forth with, "That love-struck young idiot! He's going to get himself killed!"

For Konani was no longer under the cover of the trees, but instead was striding out across the clearing toward the _luakini_, calling out, "Your Highness!"

"Why, Konani!" cried the king. "What a surprise! I didn't expect you would be joining us."

"I bet he didn't," Artie muttered to Jim. Leaving Hokulani hiding at the jungle's edge, the two agents slipped off to get closer to the _luakini_.

Konani came right up to the king. "Yes, your men made it clear to me that I wasn't invited along," he said. "Why are Melelani's hands tied?"

The king laughed, then gave a nod and one of the guard's untied her. "There, is that better?"

"Much," said Konani. Taking his beloved by the hand, he said to her, "_Hele mai_. Let's get out of here."

As the couple started to walk away, Jim and Artie took advantage of everyone's attention being on Konani to run behind the _luakini _and begin quietly taking out the king's men one by one.

"Oh, but Konani!" the king called after his erstwhile factotum. "We were about to have a wedding! Surely you want to stay for that!"

Konani turned to glare at him. "I'll be blunt, Your Highness, for I'm tired of being otherwise: Melelani is never going to marry you!"

The king's eyes flared with fire at Konani's sudden change of manner. And then he began to laugh. "Oh but of course! How silly of me! All I need to do is make a slight change of plans. Instead of the princess of the Pearl Island marrying me, she shall marry you, dear brother!"

"He calls that a slight change of plans?" muttered Artie as he gently laid down one of the king's entourage whom he'd just used a little knock-out powder on, then prepared to swap clothes with the unconscious man. Meanwhile, Jim continued putting the king's guards out of commission.

Konani frowned at the monarch. "You've barely ever acknowledged me as your brother, Your Highness, much less ever considered me to be dear to you."

"Truetruetrue, Konani," the king admitted. "However, as Melelani is a princess, it wouldn't do for her to be married to anyone less than a prince, which you are, being one of Papa's sons by one of his other wives. In fact," said the king with a nasty smile, "I shall do this for you, Konani: as I have no heir as yet, I shall name you, dear brother, to be my Crown Prince!"

"He's up to something," Artie murmured, now fitting on the last bit of the unconscious man's gear and slipping out to quietly take the man's place.

"Crown Prince?" said Konani suspiciously, even as Melelani gave a vast sigh of relief and clutched at his arm.

"Indeed! You shall marry the lovely Melelani, and I," and the king now put out a hand and dragged Pualani to his side, "shall marry this one! After all, she's a member of the royal family of the Pearl Island as well."

"But I don't want to…" Pualani began to protest.

"Shshsh," said the king. "You're spoiling the moment. _Kahuna!_" He glanced around and spotted the masked man. "Ah, there you are. _Hele mai! _We shall all be married at once."

The priest gave a moment's hesitation, then stepped forward.

"Oh no we won't!"

Everyone turned to look at Melelani. She had gone from relief and delight at getting to marry the man she loved, to a look of horror and contempt.

"Oh, what's wrong with you now?" growled the king.

"I will not be married by the likes of that!" she insisted, pointing at the _kahuna_. "You may choose to cling to the old ways, Your Highness, but I do not. And I won't be married by some disgusting old _kahuna _with the blood of sacrifices on his hands!"

The _kahuna _stepped back and glanced down at his hands, while the king nearly had an apoplectic fit. "Whatwhatwhat!" the monarch cried, stomping his feet. "But you can't back out now! I've planned everything, and you're ruining it! Now stop being silly and come marry Konani!"

Melelani folded her arms and stamped her own foot. "I will not be married by a _kahuna! _Find someone else to do the ceremony!"

"But I don't _have _anyone else…!" the king began, when a new voice interrupted him.

"Yes, you do." From out of the jungle stepped Kaniela. "If you truly will permit Konani and Melelani to marry, then I will perform the ceremony." The little pastor walked up to the _luakini _but did not step inside.

"Ah! Well, isn't this delightful, Kaniela to the rescue." The king sneered at the man with obvious distaste. "So are we ready now? Or are there anymore objections?"

Konani and Melelani joined hands. "No objections," said the newly-named Crown Prince.

"Well, I have an objection!" put in Pualani, but the guard closest to her slammed a hand over her mouth.

"Perfect!" said the king. "Let us begin."

By now, Jim West had finished removing all the guards outside the _luakini _and crouched around the corner from the open wall, stealthily peering inside. He didn't see Artie anymore, but was sure his partner was somewhere nearby.

Kaniela started the ceremony with a prayer, ignoring how the king scoffed all through it. The pastor then turned to Konani and Melelani and led them through the usual questions and answers, ending with declaring them man and wife. "And what about you, Pualani?" Kaniela asked, "Do you wish to marry the king?"

A big smile spread across her face as she exclaimed, "Absolutely not!" glad that someone at last wanted to hear her opinion.

"Hmm," said Kaniela. "That is what I thought." And to the king he said, "She is not willing, so there will be no wedding between you and her."

"Why you little…! You think you can stop me? I'll just have the _kahuna _marry us!"

"But I don't want…!"

Pualani's protest was cut off abruptly as the _kahuna _grabbed her arm and pulled her close. As she tried to break free, she heard a voice, muffled by the mask, tell her, "Don't worry about it; I can't marry you anyway. I'm not really the _kahuna_."

Stunned, she responded with, "Mr Go…"

"Shh! Don't let on who I am. Now I want you to pretend to stamp on my foot, then run as fast as you can back to the path through the jungle. Hokulani is waiting there. You'll be fine; we'll take care of the rest."

The chubby girl nodded, then followed his directions. She brought her foot down hard right next to his, then pelted off for the jungle, two guards chasing after her. The _kahuna _let out a shriek, and somehow in the frenzy of him hopping around while holding his trampled foot in the air, the supposedly injured native priest managed to knock down the last of the guards who were still inside the _luakini_, then knock them out too. As for the guards who went after Pualani, Jim burst out from his hiding place and charged after them. In moments he had brought them down and slugged them, leaving them unconscious as well.

And so the king found himself with no men left. As the _kahuna _came toward him, whipping the mask off to reveal the face of Artemus Gordon, the two-legged weasel screamed like a little girl and tried to run away, only to find his way blocked by Konani, Kaniela, and the return of James West.

"No!" the king wailed. "That's not how this was supposed to work out!" Pointing at the pastor, the king babbled, "You were supposed to die in the volcano as one of my sacrifices along with Mumsy and her wimpy little father. But no, you horrible Secret Service agents foiled that! And I was going to take the pair of you on a wild boar hunt, with of course the wild boars being two-legged ones named West and Gordon, and planned for that to end up with the pair of you tossed in the volcano as well. But I had other things to attend to first. And since my original sacrifices were unavailable, I decided to marry Melelani, making her my queen so I could cast her into the caldera, but you had to pitch such a fit about marrying me that I decided to let you marry that nasty Konani instead. After all, then I could sacrifice my Crown Prince _and _his bride, and I figured once I'd married that other one, I would throw her in as well. _But you wouldn't let me do any of that!_ Oh, I hate you! I hate you all!"

Konani stared at him, stunned. "You were going to kill my Melelani?"

"Well, of course I was, you dunce! You didn't really think I loved her, did you?"

"You were going to kill my Melelani?" Konani's hands balled into fists and he took a step toward his half-brother.

"Nownownow, I'm still the king here! You cannot touch me; none of you can touch me!"

Konani's voice dropped to a whisper as he said it once again: "You were going to kill my Melelani?" and he took another step forward, his eyes twin flames of fire as he loomed over the king.

The king squeaked and dodged past Artemus, taking off for the refuge of the jungle, only to see that Hakulani and Pualani had come out of the underbrush and were blocking his way to the path. Each woman was glaring at him with her arms folded across her chest and one foot tapping angrily on the ground.

The king turned back and found that West, Gordon, Kaniela and Melelani had all followed him out of the _luakini_, with Konani leading the way.

"You were going to kill my Melelani!" the bridegroom hissed.

With a yip, the little weasel ran off again, this time heading behind the _luakini_. He jerked to a halt and flung a hand over his mouth in alarm as he saw how many of his men were laid out back here, utterly senseless. But then the thought that Konani was still stalking him drove him on, heedless of where he was going, intent only on what he was escaping from.

As so he found himself at the brink of the caldera. With a shudder the king flinched back to find that Konani was right behind him, and the others, all three men and all three women, were ranged in a wide semi-circle behind the new Crown Prince, blocking the king's retreat.

"You were going to kill my Melelani?" Konani asked, softly and sadly this time, as if the thought was so utterly foreign to him as to be unimaginable.

"Yes!" the king burst out. "What, are you such a fool you've lost the ability to say anything but that? Yes, I wanted to throw her into the volcano! What a sacrifice she would have made: both the princess of one island and the queen of another! How Pu'u Ahi would have loved such a sacrifice, and what a lovely war it would have started!" He grinned wildly at the thought of his beautiful plan. Then his face changed, twisting with fury as he screamed at Konani, "_But you ruined it!_"

"_You were going to kill my Melelani!_" Konani bellowed in return and now his fist flew, catching the king squarely in the jaw. POW!

The blow knocked the king backward and he staggered, completely off balance. He tried to catch himself but his foot came down on an unstable stone and he reeled, tottering, falling…

"No!" cried Konani. Being closest, he leapt forward to grab the king and pull him back from the caldera's edge. But the king, misinterpreting his half-brother's intentions, tried to push him away, trying to avoid what he thought of as an attack.

They grappled for mere moments there on the edge of the volcano's mouth as Jim too ran forward to rescue them. Only half a second before the agent reached them, the king gave a mighty shriek and fell, and Konani, still trying to save him, disappeared over the brink as well.

Jim West flung himself half over the edge into the caldera, reaching, stretching. And Artie grabbed hold of his partner lest he too be lost to the hungry mouth of the fire mountain.

A long hard haul, and Jim's upper half, blackened with soot, reappeared over the edge. And then his arm came up too, pulling back to safety…

The Crown Prince.

Jim and Konani fell back on the safe side of the caldera's edge, both of them coughing and panting hard. Melelani ran to her husband and dropped to her knees beside him, tears staining her cheeks as she threw her arms around him, holding him as if she would never let him go.

Jim said, "I thought for a second there I'd lost you."

"I thought so too," said Konani. He shook his head. "I… I tried to save him! I had his hand, and I tried to pull him up. But then his hand slipped out of mine and he fell. He fell…"

"You did all you could, Konani," said Artie consolingly. "No one can ever say you didn't."

Now Melelani's cousins came and sank to the ground by the newlyweds, embracing the couple in great relief.

Kaniela walked past them all and stood on the brink of the caldera, looking over into the abyss. With a sigh and a shake of his head, the pastor then turned to Konani and said to him solemnly, "Your Highness, the king is dead. Long live the king."


	6. Tag

**Tag ~~~**

Jim and Artemus stepped out of the palace onto the _lanai_ and stood for a moment enjoying the cool breeze wafting through the roofed veranda. "Well," said Artie, "all's well that ends well, eh, James my boy?"

"I think the new king will be a lot easier to deal with than the old one," Jim replied.

"I hear that!" Artie's eyes sparkled as he took a sip of his tropical drink in its coconut-shell cup adorned with a tiny paper umbrella. "It was a fine coronation," he added.

"Mm-hmm," Jim agreed. "I'm glad Captain Liggett was able to go to the Pearl Island and bring all the missionaries back home in time for them to attend it."

"Not to mention bringing the King of the Pearl Island here to see his new son-in-law crowned."

"And the king was so happy, he announced immediate plans for King Bob's daughter to marry his own Crown Prince."

"Yep," said Artie. "A happy ending all around." He raised his coconut shell and toasted, "To King Konani Ku'i Ke'auwae - King Punch-the-Chin - and his Queen Melelani! May they enjoy a long and peaceful reign!"

Jim lifted his coconut shell and added, "And may no one ever plot a coup against them - especially not any of their own family."

"I'll drink to that," said Artie, and did.

Jim laughed. "Artie, you'll drink to anything."

"Too true, too true!"

They turned and looked back into the palace's banquet hall filled with happy revelers celebrating the new regime. Paul and Evelyn, along with Kaniela, Malana, and their children, were smiling as they took part in the festivities. Hokulani and Pualani were wandering through the crowd with their arms full of _leis_, bestowing a flowered necklace or three on everyone they met. The beaming King of the Pearl Island in his royal regalia stood near his daughter, his chest swelling with pride.

And in the midst of the merrymaking were the royal newlyweds themselves, Konani in his tall headdress, feathered cloak, and floral sarong, with Melelani at his side in a sunny floral _mu'umu'u_ that matched his attire, blushing and giggling as her husband held her hand.

"You know, Jim," said Artie, "it occurs to me…"

"Yeah, Artie?"

"Well, you remember how King Creepy told us that the fire goddess was traditionally placated by the sacrifice of members of the royal family, and the higher the rank, the better?"

"Mm-hmm."

"And we know the little weasel at first had in mind to sacrifice his Queen Mother and her father, and later amended that to his half-brother whom he named the Crown Prince, along with Konani's new bride the princess of the Pearl Island…"

"Right."

Artie grinned, a devilish sparkle in his eye. "Well, as things actually turned out, ol' Pu'u Ahi got the best deal of all. She didn't have to settle for anyone less than the king himself!"

"She nearly got the Crown Prince as well," Jim pointed out.

"Mm. Yeah, I'm glad she wasn't greedy," Artie said somberly. "She also could have helped herself to someone I consider to be a prince among men, and I'm glad she didn't take him either." He reached out and gave his best buddy a little thump on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Artie. I'm glad she didn't too," said Jim. "And as the late king is likely to be the last sacrifice she ever gets, I hope she'll be content with him."

"Hear, hear," said Artie, taking another sip of his drink.

"Mm," said Jim. "It looks like we have company."

Hokulani and Pualani stepped through the doorway out onto the _lanai_. "Mr West," said Hokulani, dropping the rest of her _leis _over his head. She smiled at him and took the drink from his hand, setting it down on a nearby table. Then she slipped her arms around his neck, said, "My hero!" and kissed him.

Artie grinned at his partner and the pretty little island girl. That Jim, always gathering kisses from the ladies!

"Mr Gordon!" sang a dulcet voice.

"Yes?"

And now Pualani settled the remainder of her _leis _around Artie's neck and took the coconut cup from his hand. Suddenly Artie realized the hefty girl was planning to do for him the same as her more svelte cousin was doing with Jim. "Um…" he said, feeling panic arising as the chubby maiden said, "My hero!" and took his face between her hands.

"Ah, Pualani, you don't really have to… How about a handshake?"

She laughed and kissed him.

Artie's first reaction was to try to extricate himself from the kiss, only to find that… that… um… oh… mmm…

When she at long last let him come up for air, Artie said in a daze, "Great jumping balls of…! Where did you ever learn to kiss like that?"

Pualani grinned with a mischievous twinkle in her eye and wagged a finger at him. "You don't want to know, Mr Gordon!" she said merrily.

"Call, uh… call me Artemus," he found himself saying.

"Artemus," she said, and kissed him again.

And as Artie slipped his arms around Pualani's ample waist, he thought how the men of the Coral Island might not be wrong after all about a big girl being so much more to love.

Inside the palace, Melelani caught sight of her cousins in the arms of the American agents and whispered something to her husband. Konani took a look as well, said, "Seems like a good idea to me!" and pulled his queen into an enthusiastic embrace, his headdress tumbling to the floor as he gave her a magnificent kiss, much to the delight of his people.

Out on the _lanai_, the two cousins paused for a second, shot each other a look and a wink, then threw themselves back into the beguiling business of kissing Jim and Artie.

**~~~ FIN ~~~**

My Dream Cast:  
Wally Cox as Paul Davenport  
Mako as Kaniela


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